This morning, due to the Users of the “San Jose Voices Forum” wanting to remove their posts because of the pressure they were feeling from their employer, I was about to pull the plug completely on the Forum, thinking that I don’t want a dead and inactive website taking up real estate in my thoughts and hosting space, and I could sure use that space for another site I have in mind. Just then, the electricity went out, and of course, I was not able to dismantle the site and it gave me pause to consider how else the forum might be used.
One simple question that I ask myself when faced with difficult choices is: “Does my choice come with a feeling of inner expansion…or contraction?” Maybe a combination of both? This question hearkens back to my days in the monastery when I was starting to question the status quo, questioning the very belief systems that kept me on the “safe side.” I realized how deeply the hypnosis of fear and wanting to stay safe kept me in a holding pattern of stagnation and depression. My body even started to fall apart. I had bouts of bronchitis that lasted weeks and exhausted me with the unending cough. It wasn’t until I started “journaling” with what I now call my “Higher Self” that I began to receive answers to questions regarding the choices that I was to make. Among other insights, I found that my bronchitis was a metaphor for my unwillingness to express my truth, and the unending cough was layers and layers of stagnant unexpressed energy wanting to be forcefully expelled.
For me, the answers begin with a very simple feeling of either expansion or contraction. It’s a heart feeling, unencumbered by mental judgment. It’s a matter of setting aside the thoughts and all assumptions and belief systems that so powerfully hold us captive. It’s about dropping to our Center and then listening—not with ears but with our whole Being that has its foundation in the powerful moment.
Getting back to shutting down the Forum. Of course, the focus on Company and “how it’s messing with the employees, how its doing this and that…” brings up a lot of anger, and a desire to speak out….but the inner feeling is contraction, so long as the focus is company centered! Now for me, the expansive feeling happens when I focus on expressing my Truth, my Being, which is connected to something vastly wider than company issues and my desires for security and need to stay safe.
In other words, my path is one in which I must create with the energies that wish to be born, to express and continue to speak with the voice of expansion. Whether through art, music, writing, my overtone singing, etc. I connect with and allow the river of creativity to flow and find expression through whatever medium the Universe has gifted me with.
Everyone has a unique gift of expression! And it has its foundation in the bedrock of creation. It is vastly powerful in its scope of what it can do for you and the world. It just needs our permission!
The Forum can exist only when the community allows itself to freely express the gifts that it was meant to manifest. When we follow our voice of expansion it may take us to some scary places, but, oh! how much wider we begin to see and experience the Universe in all its beauty and abundance.
Expansion, Contraction, Love or Fear? We always have a choice!