Category Archives: mindfulness

Kundalini “Pattern Disrupt”

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The mind seems to always seek engagement…seeking to be occupied with desires, distractions, temptations, memories, etc. Over time it creates habits of likes and dislikes that then create the patterns of our lives that become the default day-to-day existence.

In losing ourselves to set patterns of mind that we’ve created over a lifetime, it is easy to get swept along in life guided only by habits of what is familiar. Meanwhile, there is an undercurrent of primal forces hidden deep within that remain, for the most part, dormant.

For those who consciously seek to connect with this subterranean “Hum of Creation,” they may find that their bodies can serve as an exquisitely fine “antennae” for tuning into the infinitely subtle vibrations that move through the energetic “field” of their experience.

The body that is tuned to this sublime resonance is “held” as though electrified (or contorted) by the current that flows through the energetic field.

This contortion of the body/mind/psyche serves as a “pattern disrupt” for the mind normally caught in habitual patterns of thinking. The individual is offered a vastly wider perspective and experience of subtle vibrations.

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Kundalini Hum of Creation, Part V

Do you get the meaning of what is meant in the sentiment of listening to music “so beautiful that it hurts?” That puts you into a swoon? Entranced, dissolved in tears?

There is an invitation that is offered in this kind of music to the deepest places of inspiration. All that is required is an openness to listen to and feel for the subtleties of the music that has “captured” your heart.

As you feel and dissolve into the music, you may find wave after wave of delicious sensations rolling through the body…and especially the spine! There is then a natural, primal movement of the energy (life force) that creates a kind of “contortion” of the body that is an overflowing of bliss. The experience can be on the spectrum of gentle to orgasmic.

The play of this energy is very much like dance…an ecstatic dance and play with the atoms/molecules of finest waves of the underlying Bliss Resonance, the Source of what entrances and puts you in the swoon through the music you listen to.

It’s just a matter of following the sensations of inspiration that are created by the music to its deepest Source, the “Hum of Creation!”

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Filed under Accessing Your Higher Self, consciousness, Higher Self, Kundalini, mindfulness, trance

Kundalini Hum of Creation, Part IV

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When listening to your favorite music, especially the kind that makes you want to dance, take notice of what is activating you to move…to dance. Tune in, follow that vibration to its deepest place within and observe how the energy (life force) itself will adjust the body to “hold” the sensation in a kind of “energetic lock.”

This might look like any number of body postures with their infinite iterations: spinal and neck twists, leg/arm/finger positions, etc. There is no incorrect posture, as the important part of this process is in the deep listening/feeling aspect that guides the body to take the “shape” or energetic geometry of what flows through. Think very slow dance of micro-movements!

In this process, which is exquisitely blissful, the energy (life force) in the “energetic lock” builds up to such a degree that it overflows the container (posture) that holds the vibration. This creates what I think of as a “contortion” as the life force moves the body into another shape or container of the life force.

Take notice of the finest subtlety of the sensation that holds the body/mind/psyche in the contortion/contraction/expansion. Follow the extremely fine sensations deeper and deeper into your core, into the spine, until you are dissolved into the experience, where all is “Primal Contortion!”

This primal current moves smoothly, constantly and the mind can connect with the creative flow. You will then create easily and effortlessly, as this Divine Electricity flows in all directions.

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Kundalini Hum of Creation, Part III

Notice the workings of the mind, how it seeks engagement with “objects” of attention, how it moves from point to point, thought to thought, feeling to feeling, etc. By the sheer act of noticing and observing, we get a glimpse of thoughts, feelings, etc. as they arise in the moment…and the whole purpose and benefit of this is to have an experience of the underlying “Hum,” the background resonance of the overall vibration of all that is experienced in the moment.

Notice how the mind, when not intentionally and actively engaged on anything in particular will float haplessly from thought to thought, feeling to feeling, etc. and is easily caught in the thralldom of restlessness, agitation, boredom, desires.

Mind/body/psyche is easily affected and influenced by the vibratory environment it finds itself in, whether by choice or happenstance. It is important to notice and acknowledge the subtle shifts of mind…especially between mind that consciously observes and mind that floats haplessly. In this way, it is easier have the clarity and resolve to choose the mindful state (which grants deep calmness, focus, sense of wholeness).

Tune in quickly with the underlying sensations that are easily felt as an overall resonance of feelings…like listening for the background noise or hum deep within the body. There is no difficulty in doing this! It is just a matter of allowing ourselves to feel deeply!

You may then notice that when the mind is deeply in listening and feeling mode, the thoughts slow down or may even come to a still point (even if for an instant). In that moment, you may have an experience with very fine micro-movements of sensations…with the Bliss Resonance!

In that moment your relationship with life force, with your way of Being, is shifted forever!

To be continued.

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Kundalini Dance of Subtlety Part II

Part I of “Kundalini Dance of Subtlety” can be accessed here

Mother Kundalini

Mother Kundalini

I think that it’s kind of ironic that, for me, Kundalini did not activate for me until having dropped my strong attachments to meditation techniques, as well as leaving an ashram that I lived as a monk for 19 years.

For me, releasing the strong “matrix” of spiritual community and “group think” created an inner feeling of “free-fall,” having nothing to stand on, or hold onto…which then offered me intimations of primal and chaotic sensations/energies moving through my body and psyche.

A few years after having left the ashram, I began singing, vocalizing in very unusual ways: throat singing (similar to Mongolian and Tibetan styles). Singing in this way came very quickly and easily for me. The subtleties of vocal overtones helped me to disconnect my thinking and any stories that would normally go round and round in my head (sadness, grief, etc.)

So many layers of density, of sadness and grief have had to be released/purged in the intervening years (since 2001). Kundalini, in the form of the Mother came to me in 2009. I felt/thought that she was extremely shy. She turned to me three times, without saying anything, beckoning me to follow her into my spine. I intuited immediately and felt her as Kundalini.

I’m glad that there is a mental concept/philosophy such as Kundalini. Otherwise, I might think that I was going a little (or maybe a lot) crazy. It gives my mind something to “chew” on in the sense that my mind seems to go ‘round and ‘round if it cannot make sense of something.

Kundalini, to me, is so far out there, wild, crazy, primal, maddening, blissful, that the mind seems to be right on the borderline of sanity and insanity! I now feel quite safe with Her in the sense of having learned to navigate very strange mental/physical/emotional/spiritual landscapes of Being. It still feels though like being in a world where veils are getting thinner and thinner.

With the onset of Kundalini there has also been times of simply ENDURING…during certain times when no amount of meditation, positive thinking, calling for help seems to ease physical/mental/spiritual suffering. Perhaps it does, but my meaning here is that there seems to be times when we get so “ground to dust” that we don’t have the wherewithal or even the memory to call for help, or shore ourselves up.

This is where Grace seems to come through. And this is my belief: that Kundalini comes with Grace. As blissful and ecstatic as Kundalini can be, it seems to also have a way of grounding us to dust, taking away all props, forcing us to our knees so-to-speak. At least that’s been my experience.

When it had been so, so dark, when I had forgotten myself and how to call for help, this is where Grace had stepped in, like the tiniest sliver of light (my lifeline) in a universe of darkness.

Kundalini, it all seems to be one large Cosmic Dance. Beautiful at times, grotesque at times…but a dance all the same, where we are being asked to let Her lead!

I seek to connect with those who, like me, feel they have been “charged” to hold and ground the Bliss Resonance for Mother Earth. Please contact me if you’d like to experience the ecstatic current in the spine. It is a free session that will be of great benefit for you whether we decide to work together or not. Contact me here if you’d like to: Connect With the Bliss Resonance

I will get back to you but please be sure to check your filtered mail as my email may get placed in your junk mailbox.

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Filed under bliss, Finding Your Voice, freedom, Kundalini, mind, mindfulness, Overcoming fear, overtone singing, Receiving Spirit, sound healing

How to Make “Oversensitivity” Work for You

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Someone asked recently, “How do you make your sensitivity work for you? When I think/feel into my own sensitivity, the first thing that comes to mind is “oversensitivity,” to my trigger points, to when things catch me “off-guard” so-to-speak.

Like most everyone else (I’m presuming), it is very difficult for me to not react to my emotional triggers. So…how to make my sensitivity work for me when I get triggered becomes an important question.

My initial reaction to emotional triggers in the past would put me into a shell, into moods for hours, if not days. I would feel angry, hurt, get moody/broody, etc.

Here’s what I do now: I do not discount what I feel, or try to push it away, or get philosophical about it…in fact I allow myself an initial inner reaction, like, “#$#L$ M_F!!…for a few minutes…but then I also include “Thank You, thank you, thank you!” even though I don’t feel genuine gratitude at the moment…but I know the gratitude does and will come.

Here’s what I do: I always keep a blank sheet journal with me with a supply of pens and color pencils. I also have my music.

I CREATE, CREATE, CREATE! DANCE, DANCE, DANCE! If need be, CRY, CRY, CRY!
I know that very delicate thoughts, sensations, insights come to me after I purge out the energy of what triggered me! Exquisitely sublime feelings!

That is where Gratitude comes in…and after a large purge, the sensation of Gratitude feels like…LOVE!

I seek to connect with those who, like me, feel they have been “charged” to hold and ground the Bliss Resonance for Mother Earth. Please contact me if you’d like to experience the ecstatic current in the spine. It is a free session that will be of great benefit for you whether we decide to work together or not. Contact me here if you’d like to: Connect With the Bliss Resonance

I will get back to you but please be sure to check your filtered mail as my email may get placed in your spam mailbox.

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Filed under Creative Inspiration, Creative Writing, Creativity, Love, mindfulness, Overcoming fear

Meditation “Practice” Pt 2

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This post is a continuation of my last blog entry. A good friend and reader left insights and comments regarding my last entry that I feel are very important for any spiritual seeker to consider.  The following is from Scott,  (a fellow ex-monk from the same ashram we once lived in) from Skeptics Meditation followed by my response:

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. Having thought about this myself too, but somewhat differently.

I’d go further than the harms of “mental constructs of meditation”.

How about these unprovable “mental constructs”? Aum or chakras, Third Eyes, or Spinal Currents (kundalini serpents).

Failing to ever know for ourselves whether we really experience these we rely on the gurus, texts, and spiritual traditions which implanted the concepts in our minds in the first place. It’s a perfect recipe (dished up by the teachers) to never trust oneself, one feelings or sensations.

Thanks Scott, for your thoughts and insights. My approach and thinking around the “mental constructs” of Aum, chakras, third eye, etc is this: I have my physical body that is able to feel sensations. I also feel emotions like sadness, joy, anger, etc. I also know that I have what I call the “mind” that wants to make sense of the world. Concepts, such as “Aum” has a very different meaning for me now.

When I sing/tone Aum, I feel for the sensations that go from the back of the throat and ends at the lips. I tone it in a way that vibrates my nasal cavity. This has a particular sensation that feels really good. That “feel good” sensation expands the more I allow myself to feel.

It wasn’t always this way. Chanting Om had no real affect on me, at least not in a deep way. It wasn’t until I started throat singing, gutteral singing that I started to feel in a deeper way. Still, no real big shakes.

One day, for no reason that I can remember, I noticed how sensations had “underlying” sensations, very fine vibrations that I could feel. Not in my imagination, but really feel. This opened the way for me to explore subtle vibrations. In exploring fine vibrations in the body, I also came to feel exquisite “feel good” sensations.

Attributing any special “spiritual” meaning to this visceral experience would just get in the way, as the act of thinking about it seems to cut off the deeply felt “feel good” feelings. I describe this as the “Bliss Resonance.” I use the term “Bliss” because in my experience it is a visceral experience, just as intense as sexual orgasm, just in a different area of the body, higher up in the spine. Ascribing otherworldly, spiritual meaning to the experience is not necessary, but words are required in order to convey the process.

Take the words, “Kundalini serpents” for example. Just words, concepts describing an energetic state of the body/mind…along with a lot of “spiritual connotations” that may or may not be scientifically provable.

For me it would remain just stuff of the imagination, heavy mental baggage if devoid of the somatic feel, the visceral experience of what feels like (to me) a coiling, serpentine movement of vibration/energy in the spine.

Now, to me, there is a very fine and interesting point that can be made here. Inquiring minds might say, “It’s all made up stuff in someone’s imagination! It’s not real. At most, it is just a sensation/vibration/feeling that is exaggerated to be something way more than what it really is. So f***n big deal!” And they would be correct in their assessment. The Kundalini energy is just a vibration, a sensation, a feeling.

Here’s the thing though…and I can only speak from my own experience of the sensation…and that is all anyone really has that can be of real significance: our own experience. From my perspective as an artist, it is as if my palette of paints went from a dozen colors to more than a thousand.

Likewise, it is as if my “palette” of perceived sensations in my body (especially the spine) went from a dozen to over a thousand, with the underlying and significant sensation being that of the Bliss Resonance, an extremely pleasurable and activating vibration that comes with an “Oh my f***n God!” exhortation. In other words, the experience leaves no room for conjecture, “Did I imagine that? Was that real?” Etc. Etc. It is like, if anyone wonders whether or not they had an orgasm or not, they definitely did not! 🙂

Anyway, that’s it for now. Thanks again Scott! Your comments, questions, insights are always welcome here!

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