Category Archives: Places beyond the mind

Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part V

As mentioned in the Part IV, when going through the daily challenges of Lyme Disease, there were many periods of just enduring as best as I was able to…and at a certain point there came a realization that I was no match for its devastating power…at least from the limited perspective of thinking that I was fighting a bacteria/spirochete that required only the correct application of some antibiotic (doxycyclene).

A major shift in perspective, in my relationship with my sense of self, with my life force, and with my day-to-day “reality” was being called forth. Dealing with Lyme Disease required a very different way of listening and feeling, that “tuned” into much deeper levels of subtle sensations, far beyond what would have previously been considered normal and familiar.

With Lyme Disease, there was a sense of being in a different territory of “reality.” I was “no longer in Kansas” so-to-speak. I remember oftentimes waking up in the mornings, feeling not only exhausted, but with very strange thoughts and words (as well as bizarre sensations) going through my mind and body, with the distinct impression that the thoughts were not mine.

That I came to feel that I was no match for its power is not to say that I felt helpless. It seems that in learning to feel and to listen in a deeper way, my sense of “reality” shifted to include not only dimensions wherein the Lyme “entity” resided, but also where helpful Spirits offered assistance.

This is what I have come to believe: with chronic illnesses such as Lyme Disease (as well as pernicious cancers), there is an intelligent (and malignant) “entity” aspect involved, one that might be considered “vampiric” in nature.

In my experience, when I first contracted Lyme Disease, while in high fever, I saw and conversed with the Lyme entity. I asked it, “Why are you doing this to me?” It responded, “This is what we do.” It seemed to have a kind of “hive” consciousness. I also intuited its superior intelligence…devoid of any familiar human reference point. Although it was bipedal and seemed to have a kind of clothing, I felt that I was connecting with something very alien.

Although this connection was short-lived, with its verbal answer to my question there was also a “How dare you ask!” communication that I felt. I thought it interesting that, although it was not wearing any head gear, I noticed that it’s head had the very interesting shape of a Nazi helmet! Its clothing, its whole “vibe” was cold, metallic, totally devoid of any human reference points of warmth and compassion.

Although it would be easy to dismiss the above experience as just a hallucination of my feverish mind, to me the experience allowed me access to previously unfamiliar dimensions, ones that included not only horribly demonic realms, but heavenly ones as well.

In a way, my “hallucination” allowed me an opening, a way to connect with subtle vibrations and sensations that would ultimately guide me towards healing.

Hallucination or not, the experience gave me a very different perspective from which to deal with Lyme Disease. It gave me an understanding that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all” path to healing, not for something as intelligent as the Lyme entity!

The experience prompted me to listen and to feel in ways that I may not have considered previous to my having contracted Lyme Disease.

(To be continued)

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part IV

When going through the painful and frustrating symptoms of Lyme Disease, I’m remembering that I did not engage much in philosophical meditations regarding the “meanings” and “life lessons” of Lyme Disease. I just wanted to be free of the damn pain and the frustrations of being physically incapacitated!

However, there was always an inner prompt to move towards healing…and (very obviously) away from pain and frustration! This “inner prompt” was my navigation device, guiding me from point to point…and sometimes down avenues that turned out to be “blind alleys.”

Sometimes, doing my best (due diligence) was to simply endure…to just get through painful moments as best I can. Now, I believe this approach helps with any painful physical or emotional challenge. However, with Lyme Disease, to me there seemed to be an extra “something” that required a deeper and vastly different approach in listening and feeling.

With Lyme Disease, that extra “something” manifested to me as what I felt and saw as a kind of tar-like black “goo” that embedded into my shoulder and neck area. When I saw the Spider Man movie, the one where he was being “taken over” by this intelligent black goo, my instant reaction was, “That’s it!” Amazingly the movie captured exactly how Lyme Disease was manifesting to me!

I had realized fairly early on that the standard of care (antibiotics) for Lyme Disease was not going to work for me. It required an approach and mindset very different than what I had been previously familiar with. My mindset required a shift in understanding that Lyme Disease was a powerful and intelligent entity…and in order to rid myself of its debilitating influence in my life would require a medicine/consciousness of greater power and intelligence.

As mentioned previously, this medicine showed up as Uchu Sanango, also known as “Dr. Sanango” by the Shamans of the Rainforest. A day or so after he pulled the Lyme entity out of my body, Dr. Sanango showed up to me in vision. I found it interesting that he showed up as a tall, very cool looking European man, wearing round spectacles. He reminded me of a cross between the actors James Coburn and Leonard Nimoy!

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Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part III

The following is something I wrote to someone I have come to know as a dear friend and Sister. She contacted me after reading about my journey of healing from Lyme Disease. My hope is that this can be of help to those who suffer from any chronic illness.

I deeply feel for you Sister! Sometimes it’s so impossibly difficult to navigate this Earthly plane…crazy, wild circumstances…and then to have the additional burden of physical challenges/diseases such as with Lyme. Yeah, it seems that life (Spirit?) conspires to bring us to our knees!

And from that place where we are forced to our knees, when our screams/prayers for help is as from every cell of our body, then—at least in my experience—something breaks (or perhaps opens up) on the inside, allowing us to viscerally experience…Grace! …which can be like the thinnest of lifelines that we can hold to through the darkest of nights!

To me Grace is not just a sentimental abstraction. It is a vibration/sensation. The closest way I can express this is in the abstraction of “Sweet Sorrows.” I imagine that you can understand the experience of crying so long and deeply there is a place you touch that can only be described as…sweetness? I think the feeling is connected with nostalgia…and to me nostalgia is connected with the mysterious longing to “return home”…to our spiritual home.

This tenuous state can last for years, as it did in my experience…and that is why I think of it as being an “initiation” into higher vibratory realms. To me it is the most difficult thing to go through, with no guarantee of “passing.” I do not wish to discourage you dear Sister, but to rather convey how very close I think you are to the Divine Mysteries!

It’s not a bad place to be (on your knees), especially when your cry is for the Mother! For me the the very thin “lifeline” of help (of Grace)—over time—morphed into the subtle “Kundalini” current in the spine—and then again showed itself as the Divine Mother! 

Perhaps your cries to the Universe will manifest in different ways, but they will be very personal to you.

I hope this helps sweet Sister! My heart is with you! Your Brother

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part V

When feeling into the overall sensation of the body, tune into the underlying subtlety of vibration. Notice the shift in consciousness (however slight) as the mind continues to follow/connect deeper and deeper with the subtle waves and pulsations of the underlying “Hum” of the body.

Meditation techniques certainly help in creating the “setting” in which the fine underlying sensations/vibrations can be tuned into, but going deeper and deeper into the subtle realms is not something—I believe—meditation technique of itself is capable of doing.

Here is what I believe happens: once a deep connection with the subtle/ethereal vibrations are viscerally connected with, then meditation technique can be very helpful to go even deeper.

The great irony here is that most meditators begin with the assumption that meditation technique will—in a “step-by-step” fashion—connect them with the Divine Realms. In all my years of meditation practice in the ashram, I had many wonderful spiritual experiences, but the connection with the exquisitely fine Bliss Resonance remained elusive. Neither did I see evidence of that connection with the majority of the Monks that I lived with.

Meditation technique, when focused upon and held tightly to in “step-by-step” process, can create a barrier—however slight—that separates the meditator from the very fine nuances of how the Life Force (Spirit) in the body wishes to move/dance.

The practice of meditation technique does not necessarily lead to a wider energetic space within. The inner “resistance” created by strong attachments to beliefs and assumptions regarding meditation and spirituality builds a kind of force field or “wall” of noise that prevents us from hearing/feeling the subtle reverberations that move just below the surface of our familiar state of being.

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part II

Now, when feeling into any emotion, whether it be a slight irritation, anger…or full blown sadness/depression, the approach of not ignoring the energetic, sensation aspect of feelings is being suggested here: tuning into the visceral, overall vibration of the body when feeling low, in a funk…and then….

Here’s what seems to usually happen: We get emotionally triggered by some circumstance or incident and then the feeling and thought patterns go ‘round and ‘round the gravitational pull of our hurt feelings. We get stuck in thought and feeling loops.

However, something very special happens when we feel into the overall sensation of the body, tuning into the subtle underlying vibration of all feelings, the resonance or hum of Being.

When the mind/awareness connects with the subtle underlying hum, the habitual “circling the drain” feeling/thinking is short-circuited…and then here’s what happens: by the simple focusing upon the subtle overall sensation of the body, the mind is offered a window of opening to “shift tracks,” to one that leads into a deeper trance/swoon.

Now, in allowing the mind to “shift tracks,” the mind is guided to follow the prompts of the body to move, shake, vibrate in ways that dissolves and expels the energy of moods. There are many traditions, techniques and approaches that speak towards this…and the effectiveness in these approaches occur when there is an inner “getting,” when there is the visceral experience of being “danced” by the energetic prompts of the life force moving through the body.

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part I

With just a little bit of self reflection, tuning into how we are feeling in the moment, we can easily know when things are not quite “right,” when we’re feeling a bit “off.” If we ignore the subtle inner whispers, over a certain period of time the residue of what we ignore can build up to toxic proportions, physically/emotionally/spiritually…and then we wonder how and why our lives get turned upside down when we are hit by challenges of health, relationships, finances, etc.

When we are feeling “off our game,” a bit down and perhaps outright sad/depressed, we oftentimes may not consider the energetic “webs” of what keeps us “stewing in our juices.” These webs are the thought and feeling patterns that we have mindlessly allowed to play out over and over in our lives.

These webs are vibratory in nature and can be dissolved and expelled from our lives…when we learn to tune into and feel their sticky/yucky nature. Now, we know when something is off in our lives. Tuning into and releasing the residue of toxic energy just takes a bit of time, using whatever practice makes most sense to you: chi kung, taichi, meditation, smudging, dance, etc.

The important point in any practice is to get to the point of feeling the shift of energies/frequencies/consciousness when the webs/toxic energies are released. It is a wonderful experience to actually feel the transformation that takes place when this happens. It is like an opening up of an energetic spigot in the body, allowing breath and energy to flow more freely!

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Kundalini Divine Nectar, Part III

Any position/posture of the body can be explored to infinite nuance of sensations…and by relaxing and surrendering to the fine vibrations/currents moving through the body, the Divine Dance of micro movements is activated. There is then a noticing of the body moving/dancing, adjusting automatically to the rise and fall of energy.

As the mind/attention focuses upon the current, there is also a noticing of how the mind is drawn inwardly, as though “captured” by the current. It is important to notice and acknowledge the dynamics of what happens when the mind focuses upon subtle sensations, upon the inner current of Life Force.

Another way of thinking about how the mind can be “captured,” is to understand and experience the mind going into trance when using repetition and rhythm…such as when chanting or singing; or when losing oneself in dance.

Ordinarily we don’t pay much attention to what happens when the mind gets drawn into repetitive drumming, or when we surrender ourselves in dance; or when going on long runs. However, if there is an intention to witness the body/mind/psyche going into trance, then the experience of noticing subtle shifts of awareness becomes an open pathway where each subtlety of sensation is like a “breadcrumb” leading to the next subtlety of sensation.

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