Tag Archives: bliss resonance

Lessons of Lyme Disease, Part I

In 2013, after having been bitten by a deer tic, I contracted Lyme Disease, which turned my life upside down for two years. Having to deal with my fast moving downward spiral of symptoms provided a kind of shattering and “pulverizing-to-the-ego” experience that demanded a way of listening and feeling that I’m not sure I could have learned otherwise. The following post describes my experience.

Connecting deeply with the underlying Bliss Resonance of the body and spinal centers is not necessarily a “step-by-step,” neat and tidy process no matter how diligent we might be in adhering to meditation technique and the guidance and wisdom of ancient teachings and teachers. At least this has been my experience.

During my earlier years as a monk, the sense of belonging to a spiritual community gave me a feeling of security, that I was on the right track moving towards what I longed for: wisdom, Divine Love…spiritual enlightenment.

However, what I had prayed for (with the assumption that meditation practice would in a step-by-step fashion manifest) required a dissolution of my secure and tidy spiritual world view. In other words, my “spiritual” life got very messy! It all came crashing down! And as painful as it was, I intuitively knew that I had to let it all go…the teachings, my narrow attachments to the Guru, the spiritual community…all of it!

This is not to say that I devolved into a life of debauchery or skepticism/cynicism. Rather, releasing my monastic persona and spiritual world view was like releasing a life that came to feel “dusty” and “tired.” I had begun to feel like a bonsai tree, with limbs “wired” into place to look and act like a monk…and with “roots” unable to grow deeply.

Leaving the ashram gave me the “breathing room” to experience life untethered by the narrow constraints (as well as the safety and protection) of the ashram and community “group-think.” However, leaving was a scary place to be, bringing up all the fears and inner “shadows” long hidden beneath the protective facade of my monastic persona. Having released the “secure” and structured lifestyle of the ashram, along with the feeling of free-fall, seemed to allow a wider space for me to feel and to listen to the inner whispers of all my fears, desires and longings.

Years rolled by and the “perfect storm” of ego-pulverizing events occurred when I contracted Lyme Disease in 2013. I went through a hellish two years, during which the feelings of always being sick and exhausted were not the scary parts, as I had a reference point in my life for knowing what it was like to feel sick and exhausted.

What was truly scary for me was the feeling that I was losing my mind…hearing voices, having hallucinations, losing my memory, etc. I felt that I was on a slow/fast downward spiral in which my best efforts amounted to very little on the balance scale of healing.

In my journey of healing from Lyme Disease, I explored many avenues of approach, as the standard of care in Western Medicine (antibiotics) was not enough to rid me of the insidious spirochetes. Among many things, I radically adjusted my diet, used Rife Machine, Edgar Cayce protocols, etc.  However, what finally brought full healing for me was working with certain plant medicines (mainly Uchu Sanango) from the Peruvian Rainforest while going on a 10 day Isolation “Dieta,” administered to by only the shaman.

Working with Uchu Sanango was by far the most difficult and painful experience of my life, as ridding myself of Lyme Disease seemed to require drastic measures. However, since then (2015), all symptoms of Lyme Disease have vanished, never to return! (To be Continued).

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part VI

[Continued from Part V] Think of it in this way: when first learning to dance, it can be helpful to learn some dance moves, but after the initial “getting familiar” period of learning, it is not satisfying to remain in the superficial levels of technique. Going deeper and deeper into the subtleties of movement and rhythm, technique can be released and one can surrender to the natural power and splendor of how life force wishes to dance in the body.

Similarly, meditation technique is helpful in creating the setting for connecting with the subtleties of the life force, but technique does not necessarily lead to a deeper and deeper release/surrender to the flow of the underlying current.

The inner prompts of life force moving through the body and spinal centers may guide/suggest a very different posture, movement of body and breath, position of eyes, focus of attention, etc. To rigidly adhere to meditation technique during such times can work against the very intention of your meditation practice.

In many instances, I believe the all-important “missing ingredient” of meditation practice is the simple feeling deeper and deeper into the overall sensation of the body, the resonance of all sensations felt as one vibration, one “Hum” of Being.

With this particular approach, the mind maintains a fairly easy focus/concentration…as the very subtlety of the underlying “Hum” of the body and spinal centers have an innately blissful feel…and bliss is very easy to maintain one-pointed attention on!

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Listening to the Intuitive Voice, Part V

When feeling into the overall sensation of the body, tune into the underlying subtlety of vibration. Notice the shift in consciousness (however slight) as the mind continues to follow/connect deeper and deeper with the subtle waves and pulsations of the underlying “Hum” of the body.

Meditation techniques certainly help in creating the “setting” in which the fine underlying sensations/vibrations can be tuned into, but going deeper and deeper into the subtle realms is not something—I believe—meditation technique of itself is capable of doing.

Here is what I believe happens: once a deep connection with the subtle/ethereal vibrations are viscerally connected with, then meditation technique can be very helpful to go even deeper.

The great irony here is that most meditators begin with the assumption that meditation technique will—in a “step-by-step” fashion—connect them with the Divine Realms. In all my years of meditation practice in the ashram, I had many wonderful spiritual experiences, but the connection with the exquisitely fine Bliss Resonance remained elusive. Neither did I see evidence of that connection with the majority of the Monks that I lived with.

Meditation technique, when focused upon and held tightly to in “step-by-step” process, can create a barrier—however slight—that separates the meditator from the very fine nuances of how the Life Force (Spirit) in the body wishes to move/dance.

The practice of meditation technique does not necessarily lead to a wider energetic space within. The inner “resistance” created by strong attachments to beliefs and assumptions regarding meditation and spirituality builds a kind of force field or “wall” of noise that prevents us from hearing/feeling the subtle reverberations that move just below the surface of our familiar state of being.

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Meditation Techniques: Can They Awaken Kundalini? Part VI

When Kundalini awakens in the spine, it is helpful to have a basic understanding of what it is: wild, chaotic, sublime (and sometimes overwhelming) primal Bliss energy! Having a large superstructure of philosophy and techniques is not so useful…because the mind can then get in the way.

In my experience, the usefulness of a simple concept is for those times when Her dance becomes too wild, when our secure bubble of “reality” begins to break down. It gives our minds something to “hang onto” through the process…and Her process is seemingly to break down every aspect of our lives that are not in resonance with Her vibration!

These “aspects of our lives” may include not only the hidden fears we harbor, but all the beliefs and assumptions we have regarding our spiritual world view and how we fit into it. Kundalini has a way of bringing it all down! This can be devastating to those who are not prepared for this kind of “awakening!”

And for those whose lives are turned upside down by Kundalini energy moving too fast and unexpectedly, the energy may not be regarded so much as “primal Bliss energy” as I described above…and here are my thoughts about this: In the beginning, we do not know how to move with this energy. It takes awhile to learn how to allow/surrender to Her wild vibration in our spine and nervous system.

It also takes time for our bodies, nervous systems and minds to accommodate the higher influx of energies. Although it might seem we have a choice to surrender (or not) to Her, to me there seemed to only be this: learn to dance with Her…and get out of the way and endure when She is breaking things down that are not in resonance with Her Vibration!

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Meditation Techniques: Can They Awaken Kundalini? Part III

Tuning deeper and deeper into subtle sensations is simple and easy enough, as explained earlier. The key component of this process is noticing the very slight shifts of mind that occurs as the attention goes within (into subtlety).

This “noticing” is important because the experience of observing the mind falling into swoon, going into trance creates a deep “getting”…an “Oh wow!” visceral experience of connecting with previously unacknowledged sensations and states of mind.

This initial connecting and “getting” is not necessarily a “fireworks” of awakening kind of experience. There is, however, an acknowledgment of having “touched” a sensation/vibration that feels primal, wild, expansive…like an oceanic reverberation…and ever so subtle at first!

I find it ironic that in all the years of practicing meditation technique, I believe that my mindset of being a monk ultimately got in the way of connecting with the subtle (as well as wild) dance of Kundalini. The overlays of what I could and could not do in terms of lifestyle and meditative techniques fostered a community-mindset and approach that created too small of a “container” that could not hold or support the wild and oftentimes chaotic dance of Her energies when She wished to express through my spine/body.

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Meditation Techniques: Can they Awaken Kundalini? Part I

I think of meditation techniques as a “setting up” or “positioning” of the body in a way that allows the body/mind/psyche to accommodate the growing intensity and flow of the Life Force (Kundalini) as it builds up in the system.

However, the buildup and flow of energy does not happen automatically by merely setting up and positioning the body (as prescribed by meditation technique). There is also the instruction of focusing the mind one-pointedly during practice.

Again, as many veteran meditators (myself included) can attest to, the focusing of the mind in “one-pointed” concentration is difficult (to say the least) and does not seem to happen automatically just because we sit in meditation.

The “missing piece” for me has been the understanding that meditation technique is just the “setting up” portion and meditation happens when the dynamic connection and relationship with the Life Force (the Bliss Resonance) is established. There is a subtle point here…

There is oftentimes an assumption that if we practice meditation technique long and deeply enough, at some point the mind is brought into one-pointed concentration and we attain a certain state of enlightenment/rapture/samadhi/bliss, etc.

However, in my opinion, the Divine Connection does not occur through technique, in step-by-step linear fashion…at least from my limited understanding, experience and perspective. Let me explain my “opinion”…

I think most meditators (again myself included) have experienced certain degrees of peace, rapture, visions, etc. What I have also seen (and experienced) is that we can go for years and years (and a whole lifetime) without a deepening of our connection with Spirit/Kundalini.

In other words, meditation periods gets stagnant. Many meditators (even in ashrams) get to a point of just “punching in the time card” of meditation practice…and some stop altogether. This is not to cast fault on meditation technique or the meditator.

It is the assumption or expectation that meditation technique/practice will ultimately give us what we want—deep connection with Spirit. With this assumption/expectation comes a kind of “waiting for,” expectant approach that longs for depth, but is easily distracted by the patterns of mind that stays on the surface.

Here is my point: There is an underlying resonance (or Hum) of Creation that is already vibrating within us. Its reverberation is dynamic, undulating, spiraling through our energetic field. If we are not attuned to its frequency/resonance, we can sit in meditation until the “cows come home” and not make the connection!

To me the “missing ingredient” has been the simple feeling deeper and deeper into the subtlety of all sensations. It might seem “too simple” but it is huge switch that ultimately turns on the “high voltage” current of Life Force, of Bliss in the body! (To be Continued)

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Resonance of Being—the Om Vibration, Part V

Any movement and micro-movement can be explored to infinite depths of subtlety as a way to viscerally connect with the fine waves of sensations normally overlooked. By allowing the mind to follow and feel vibrations usually not considered, at a certain point, the mind begins to recognize sensations in parts of the body that might illicit a small “Oh wow!” reaction.

As the exploration into subtlety goes deeper, the reaction can be a bigger, “OH WOW!” along with a sense of wonderment that we’ve not connected with or acknowledged these subtleties sooner in our lives, considering how close they have always been!

Feeling deeper and deeper into the overall sensation of the body, one begins to sense that the chanting/toning of Om can be guided from within to vibrate in resonance with what feels like an underground reverberation. In other words, the chanting of Om is fine-tuned by the resonance of the underlying Hum of Creation!

 

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