Perhaps some may be able to relate to this: once in awhile there can be a certain giddiness of the body that seems to cause it to move restlessly: tapping of the feet or fingers, fidgeting, inability to sit still, etc…and usually this all happens outside the range of our normal awareness. We don’t pay attention, or consider the subtle dynamics of how energy moves through the body. In other words, we don’t tune into or follow to its source the activating vibration of restlessness.
However, when we allow ourselves to feel into the sensations of giddiness, to focus upon and “hold” to its primal vibration/sensation, a vast and ethereal world of emanations/pulsations opens up to us.
This simple “practice” has a way of dropping the mind into meditative trance…as the mind that engages with subtle sensations is easily absorbed by fine currents which impart sensations very different from the norm.
This play of subtlety then becomes a delicate dance that absorbs the consciousness in finer and finer waves of sensations…and it is this “absorption” of the mind that has a way of shifting the consciousness up and out of what may feel overbearing, dense, dark, constricting (such as sadness, depression, etc.).
Feeling into subtle sensations has a way of uplifting the consciousness very quickly because tuning into subtlety creates a finer resonance of being, one that “uplifts.” This is a visceral experience, as the body begins to vibrate in resonance with the mind that is attuned to the fine currents moving through the spine.
Developing sensitivity and attunement with finer and finer sensations seems to be a natural direction that Kundalini takes in the energetic field of the body when She first awakens. It is not difficult to feel these fine/subtle coiling and spiraling sensations. There seems to only be a small mental hurdle of allowing the mind to focus long enough on the overall sensation/vibration of the body.
This overall sensation might be felt as an underlying “Hum,” very subtle at first. It just takes tuning into it until a feeling of giddiness begins to build up in the body, oftentimes localized in what seems to be the spine.
This feeling of “giddiness,” however slight or subtle, is significant…not to be dismissed. The sensation can be an entry point to a deeper and deeper play of finer, ethereal vibrations.
Giddiness, in relation to Kundalini seems to be a buildup of energy in the spine that, when focused upon guides the body to move and posture itself in ways that allows the energy to flow and overflow to other areas of the body.
This “play” of giddiness can be likened to a dance…a push/pull/play with Life Force flowing through the body that requires a surrendering to the dance…allowing Her to lead!
When Kundalini awakens in the spine, the vibration/sensation of “mirth” is—to me—an unusual frequency of Her “resonance.” What I mean by this is that when Kundalini builds up to a certain threshold in the spine, the body may shake, contort, move in unusual ways…and the mind, as observer/witness of this strange “dance,” is able to watch itself merge with the strong current of what I think of as “mirth.”
To me, mirth is a connecting with a bubbly, high frequency, child-like energy that brings out an aspect of the personality that is like a “crackpot,” or “Divine Fool.” Movements of the body can become very fast, moving automatically, rhythmically with the delicious sensations felt within.
In the context of Kundalini, for me the experience of mirth (and its ensuing exuberance) happens only during certain conditions, usually right before going to bed. I believe the textures of sheets, blankets and the luxurious sensations of “melting” into pillows and blankets has a way of activating the mirth response in the spine.
I also think it interesting that this “activation” right before sleep does not usually impede the process of falling asleep. Rather, it has become a wonderful way to enter the realms of sleep!
When Kundalini begins Her wild dance of dissolution in our lives, She is like the proverbial “bull in the china shop” that indelicately stomps to dust everything in our “neat and tidy” playing field that has grown too small for Her Cosmic Dance! And She doesn’t seem to care if it makes a total mess!
There is an aspect of Kundalini that can be described as “mirthful”…which to me is an unusual offshoot of Bliss. Here is how I would describe “Divine Mirth”: When circumstances test us to our limits, when things get so wild, chaotic, seemingly impossible to navigate, when we are “ground to dust” so-to-speak, there can be a part of us that is still able to “see/get” the “over-the-top” craziness of the Divine Hand at play, to understand the Cosmic Setup that we’ve been placed in.
With this “revelation” there might be a kind of “What the bleepin’ Hell!!!” response within that is not connected with anger, not connected with “Why is this happening to me?” reaction, but rather with a most likely response of “Holy crap! I don’t know sh*t!!!…along with a deep release through laughter…Divine Mirth!
When going through extremely painful breakdowns in our lives, whether physical, psychological, spiritual (and all the infinite iterations of illness, toxic relationships, financial meltdowns, etc.) it seems that all we can do is…endure. In extreme breakdowns, it can seem that all props (and help) are taken away…we are pushed to the limits!
And during such times, the Kundalini vibration can still be connected with, albeit in a most subtle way. For those who have no such connection or even a rudimentary “belief” in some “Higher Power” (Spirit, God, Angelic help, etc.), an extremely painful breakdown can be devastating on all levels, fracturing the psyches of those who have nothing to “hang onto.”
Even for those of “faith” and for those who have deep connection with Kundalini (with Spirit), there can be a “pulverizing” of body/mind/psyche, and even a “forgetting” of how to call out for help.
To me, this is where “Grace” steps into our energetic field. It becomes the thinnest of lifelines that can be held onto through the darkest of nights…a microscopic thread of sensation felt deep in the spine.
Sometimes I think of this “lifeline” as Grace…an ethereal vibration/sensation that can be felt as a most delicate and subtle “sweetness.”
The energy of Kundalini, when awakened in the spine and nervous system, has a definite feel, texture and movement, notably different from sensations previously experienced.
When She moves strongly, It is like being gripped or squeezed by a serpentine-like energy that builds to an ecstatic contortion in the spine. When She moves subtly, a very sweet and delicate focus is created…a tuning into what feels like the finest pulsations/waves that scintillate in the central core of the spine. It is like playing with molecules/atoms, gravitational forces…a push/pull/play of energetic currents moving in infinite subtlety!
Now, when Kundalini begins to shift or break things down in our lives that are not in resonance with Her Vibration, circumstances can show up in ways that test us to our limits. It can be argued that Life in general will do the same. Why differentiate between Kundalini initiated “breakdowns” and plain old life circumstances gone wild?
In my experience, Kundalini fosters a deeper connection with our Life Force, with our bodies, minds, psyches…with the subtle energies moving through the spine and rest of the body. This deeper connection seems to create a sensitivity to anything that is not in alignment with the powerful frequencies of Kundalini.
Because Kundalini has a particular vibration and feel in our bodies, anything that is not in resonance with Her seems to get shaken up, broken down, dissolved. This process can go on for a long time, depending on how deeply ensconced the out-of-alignment (toxic) patterns are.
The wild dance of Kundalini, when She wishes to move through the body is—in my experience—not something that can (necessarily) be activated or controlled by meditation technique. The expectation that meditation, or any psycho-spiritual process can, in a step-by-step linear fashion, activate Kundalini gets in the way of allowing Her initial awakening in our spine (and rest of the body).
A “tight” mindset around meditation techniques and spirituality in general acts as a binding agent around Kundalini…and so She remains “asleep” in the spinal centers, held captive by the “straight-jacket” of our outward focus and disconnection from primal energies held in the spinal centers.
As mentioned previously, I believe meditation technique, although it cannot necessarily connect us with Kundalini, it can be helpful after we’ve made the connection…when attuning to the exquisitely subtle aspects of Her vibration. But when She wishes to move/dance wildly in the body, technique has no meaning or use…there is only getting out of Her way!